Finally able to breathe

I really didn't think it would take this long for the feeling to start to get manageable. I seriously have had moments where it was hard to take a breath. This morning when Allison threw some food on the floor I realized that those bits would remain until picked up. The jingling of collar tags and sniffing sounds would not be heard this morning. Watching that wagging giant tail as he made his way around the kitchen "cleaning up" whatever he could find. (He loved it when we had foster kids and the foster kids loved him when they didn't want to eat their meal!) It reminds me of his last morning when I let him out to go potty, he managed to gain enough strength to chase the birds out of the yard for one last time. I remember thinking that it was his one last act of joy. He hadn't chased a bird in months and there he was. He must have heard them because we were sure he didn't see anything anymore.

One thing I know about grief, it doesn't go away. You just build up strength to handle the pain and deal with the sadness. Like my Dad says, "I don't want to get over it, just through it".